Supposed to be-512x393

Supposed to Be

Chapter ONE
(Please note that the first chapter isn’t edited by a professional editor yet.)

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It’s been a year and a half since the incident.
There were days that Mara Peters felt great about what she did, felt it was the right thing to do as her son wasn’t ready.
It was just one of those things a mother knew. That only a mother knew.
But then there were days that she regretted every second of it. Watching him go through the tough days, she had a feeling that it was the worst mistake she ever made.
It’s been a constant battle but she truly believed that time will heal him. She had to believe that.
She knew the day the truth was going to come out, will be her day of reckoning, and the things she said to Holly that day about Amelia, Gus’s shake, and Jake changing his mind was horrific, but she had good intentions. He couldn’t have loved her that much.
So she never thought in a million years that Gus would stop the trial, dispose of the shake the way he had.
But she did what she had to do. She felt it in her heart that Holly wasn’t the right one for Jake.
She wasn’t like them. She came from a broken home.
One who taught her when things go rough, you either drink or run away.
She summed her up really well. She knew the girl will run when she would hear Jake’s voice, hear that sentence.
She closed her eyes. She still couldn’t believe that she had done that.
She didn’t bargain on him taking it so hard either.
There was no way that he could feel that way about her.
He didn’t with that girl he was seeing in high school and it was stronger than what he felt for Holly, she was sure about that. Even Mel was stronger, but what he was showing her, wasn’t what he showed with any of those two.
He pined for Holly.
Was it because she was pregnant?
She knows it was wrong. But a kid doesn’t fix anything and she was still so upset with Holly for tricking her son like that. For wanting to pin him down.
He was supposed to become the best neurologist and he almost gave everything up.
She always thought about this when the days were rough.
He had an episode last night again.
Sleeping with another strawberry blonde. She saw her this morning sneaking out from the cottage Jake lived in.
It had to stop but she didn’t know-how.
She was pushing him to go to Shanghai for months now, but he wasn’t budging.
Gus even wanted her to not go to Seattle. To stay and help with what was going to follow today in probably the next few days.
She was thinking about staying too, but to be honest, she hated the doubting part of what she did.
She hated seeing her son broken down.
A part of her blame Holly for doing what she thought she would. Running away.
What woman does that? Believe someone so easily.
She couldn’t have really loved him if she ran so easily and that too told Mara that this wasn’t meant to be. There would have been a kid in this mess.
But in the end, she decided against staying. He needed to move on.
Amelia was a different story.
Holly running away did more damage to that girl than she thought ever would.
She started to drink, a lot too and it got out of control.
Armand will get through to her. She knew he will.
Time heals everything.
Her thoughts got interrupted by the pilot saying that they are going to land in a few minutes.
She told Gus she will see if she has time to go say hello to Frank. She would like to be tonight back in Boston.
Frank, thank the heavens, understand that her family is going through something tough.
The plane landed and she found someone from the Bayside Clinic waiting for her.
It’s not really a clinic. It was a fully functional hospital only for heart diseases.
One of the surgeons she met in Pre-med begged her to help out with something that will probably be one of the most dangerous surgeries she ever laid eyes on.
How could Gus even asked her to stay?
She felt guilty again. He stopped the trial on something that would’ve probably saved thousands of women’s lives.
She begged him not to give up.
She really didn’t think that the incident would floor his hopes and dreams so much.
Her family acted the opposite with Holly’s disappearance than she thought they would.
There were even times that she wanted to come clean, but she never was a hundred percent sure if Holly would get the abortion.
She would have died if she didn’t, and she knew if Jake was going to discover that, she would lose him forever.
He would never know the truth as it would’ve died with her, but just the notion that she carried on with the pregnancy and died would break him.
She didn’t want to think about that.
No, she hoped that Holly got the abortion. It will be then her word against Holly’s.
Her family knows her, they didn’t know Holly.
She reached Bayside around nine-thirty and met with Katelyn.
“You ready?” Katelyn asked.
“Believe me I need this more than you know,” Mara said.
“How is the family?”
“I’ll get them where they need to be,” Mara said.
They entered the elevator and start talking about the surgery that they were going to walk into right now.
It was a long surgery and one that Mara was really looking forward to.
They operated well into the night. There were complications she thought about, try to avoid it, but happened.
Still, they didn’t lose the patient.
She was contemplating phoning Frank or check-in the hotel close to the hospital and decided against Frank as she was too tired for chatting about Jake’s condition.
She came to Seattle to get a break from it.
Check-in was easy and she went to her room.
She phoned Gus, told him all about the surgery, and that she will be on the flight back home.
“How is he?”
“Not good Mara.”
“Time will heal him.”
“I don’t know anymore.”
“Why do you think I push Shanghai so much. He needs to go. Getaway from everything. Huyo will teach him more than just brains. He needs another’s advice to move on.”
“He’s not ready for Shanghai. I’m so tired. We should’ve never dragged him back.”
“And what, Gus. What good would it have done him if he found her? It would’ve destroyed him.”
It wasn’t a lie. The truth would destroy her entire family. But she wasn’t the right one for him. That Mara knew.
“I’m tired too, believe me. But Jake will get better with time.”
“Time, it’s been eighteen months, Mara. He is not handling anything.” Gus’s voice broke.
“Your heart is too big to see the end results, Gus. That is what I love about you so much, that damn big heart of yours. I know it’s breaking now, love, his pain is yours. Time will heal.”
“Okay, I hope you are right about this.”
“Jake is more like me than you know. It will. When I push, I push cause I know it’s what he needs. Just let me.”
“Okay, love you.”
“Love you most.”
He chuckled and they said goodbye.
Gus can’t see the bigger picture. What she did, she did out of love for her son. His life would be turned into hell if he stayed in that relationship. She was a gold digger. She knew that. Didn’t even have direction or went to study further. That told Mara she was lazy and she would become a burden to Jake.
The plain truth was Holly wasn’t in Jake’s league and it wasn’t a snob thing either. Jake needs someone to push him, to keep him on his toes. Holly wasn’t that type of person. Not even close. She proved it by running. Not staying and fight with him. She would always run.

The next day she found a flight in the afternoon.
She decided to spend the day in Seattle.
She went to the Bay and had breakfast at one of the restaurants. Sitting outside and baking in the sun.
She ordered a small breakfast and enjoyed a cup of coffee.
It was a beautiful Saturday morning, and she watched couples walking by the dock.
Her eyes landed on a couple with a stroller.
The woman had shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair.
The boy was too young to be a father, but he looked happy
The baby cried and the woman bends down in front of the stroller to take the baby.
She had dark hair and Mara went back to Amelia being that age.
She watched the mom kissed her and her air pipe closed.
No, it can’t be her.
She kept staring from her spot, thanking the heavens that it was a busy coffee shop. That she wouldn’t be easily detected.
Anger, fear, disgust, confusion, regret, everything was overpowering her emotions.
She told her to get an abortion and here she was, with a new life, a new man in her life, raising her son’s baby with.
This was not happening.
She should’ve died if she kept that baby.
She looked away and ask for the bill and to put her food in a takeaway.
She got up, glancing one more time at Holly and her eyes caught the babies. She was a Peters alright.
Tears glisten in her eyes as the little angel stared back at her. She looked like Jake and Amelia at that age.
She turned around and rushed to the front of the restaurant. Paid, picked up her takeaway, and took a taxi back to her hotel room.
She couldn’t stop thinking about the baby that Holly was supposed to abort.
She didn’t. Why didn’t she?
She didn’t want to think about how she must have suffered. How the baby must have suffered.
Holly didn’t worry about that. Mara told her she would die if she kept that baby, why didn’t she listen? Why didn’t she care?
It was making her so confused.
She closed her eyes and a little angel’s face kept staring at her. Knowing it was her that wanted her gone.
No, she was a fetus at that stage. She didn’t even know what she was at that time.
Regret, amounts of regret filled her, and Mara fell in front of her bed and screamed through clenched teeth.
Why did she keep her? 
What type of life was that little girl going to have?
She had to do something, but what.
Why did she keep her? Why? Who helped her? Why Seattle?
She closed her eyes. Seattle was on her list to phone, she didn’t phone one hospital on her list at that time.
Jake would’ve gotten the phone call.
He was here. He would’ve found her the next day if they didn’t drag him back.
This was going so not to what she thought it would.
Fear of what would happen if this came out, Holly has all the proof. Jake would speak to her, no matter how she drilled it in both his mind and Amelia’s, obviously not directly, but through hints, subtle hints that they wouldn’t pick up what she did, was not going to happen.
He would discover the truth and then, he would hate her for the rest of his life and that little green-eyed angel will never be in her life. Ever.
What did she do? How was she going to fix it?
She can’t. She can’t fix it. She can’t tell them the truth. Never.
She would make some excuses for why they couldn’t visit Frank. Not that Jake was in his right mind to see his godfather or would go to him for that matter.
Shit, who is her pediatrician. Fuck!
It wasn’t Frank. Frank would’ve said something.
It’s been almost a year and a half. The conference was coming up. She will make an excuse for them not to go. She’ll fake the flu anything. They can never come to Seattle.
Her mind was going crazy. She couldn’t believe what she was going to do.
Amelia and Jake could never know what she did eighteen months ago.